Sir Reginald Mouse and Friends

by Patrick Bailey

Chapter One

Dana and Johnny Meet Sir Reginald Mouse

Dana was sitting under a tree. She was eating her lunch with her brother Johnny. It was a nice sunny day and there was a river nearby. They could hear the birds sing. Dana had long black hair with a pink ribbon in it. Her little brother Johnny had red hair and freckles. Dana was 10 and Johnny was 6.

There were playing a game of checkers. Suddenly Dana looked up in the tree and shouted twice. Her brother looked at her.

"What's the matter, Dana?"

She did not reply but sat looking on one of the lower branches of the tree. There sat upright a little mouse. He was very small but he sat up erect and he was dressed in a very proper manner. He had on a blue jacket and a black tie. He wore a top hat like they did in the old days. He also wore red tennis shoes.

"So you have found me and now know my house,
Please to address me as Sir Reginald Mouse.
No familiar terms or slang,
If I should squeak, don't ask 'Who rang?'
I enjoyed the wheat muffin but must ask you please,
The next time we lunch, pray have some cheese.
The lady beneath me is quiet and nice
And very polite to only scream twice."

Dana looked in their picnic basket and saw that one of her muffins was gone. She hadn't seen Sir Reginald Mouse get into the basket.

"Good afternoon, Sir Reginald Mouse, I'm very glad to meet you. But how did you get into our picnic basket without us seeing you?"

Sir Reginald smiled at her.

"Sometimes, my dear, a mouse can be sneaky,
I rub oil on my shoes so they won't be squeaky.
I knew you had plenty and might just be wasteful
And so I indulged and found it quite tasteful."

When Sir Reginald had finished his speech, he looked contented. He looked like he enjoyed speaking. He liked having an audience. He liked attention.

Johnny was full of wonder. Why was his sister talking to this mouse? They should run home right away and tell their parents! He whispered this idea into Dana's ear.

But before they could decide what to do, Sir Reginald tipped his hat and was gone in an instant.

Dana and Johnny quickly gathered up their picnic things and ran home.

Chapter Two

Sir Reginald Mouse lived in this tree. It was a big sturdy oak, many hundreds of years old. It had a very wide trunk and inside were Sir Reginald Mouse's apartments.

He had a little bedroom upstairs and a large living room below. This was his main room. He played the organ. Sir Reginald came from a very distinguished family. It was said that his great grandfather had lived in St. Paul's Cathedral in London. One of his cousins had lived in the mansion of Charles Dickens where he had made the acquaintance of that famous writer's raven. Charles Dickens was very fond of ravens and had written about a very talkative raven in one of his many books.

It might be thought that mice do not usually live in trees. But Sir Reginald was a very special mouse. He liked being outdoors and the big oak tree suited him very well. He even had a little fireplace, though he never built a fire. He knew that his whole house might burn down.

And Sir Reginald was a very sensible mouse.

He was getting old. He had to wear his spectacles to read. If there was a draft he would put on his sweater. And he drank tea.

Sir Reginald was sitting in his living room thinking over the day's events and mainly thinking of Dana and Johnny, when there was a knock at the door.

"Oh, I hope it is someone I want to see, for it is almost time for tea," thought Sir Reginald.

"Who's there?" asked Sir Reginald.

"It's just Leonard," replied a rather lazy looking lizard.

"Oh, do come in, Mr. Leonard," said Sir Reginald quickly, as he very much liked Lazy Leonard the lizard.

"How do you do today, Sir Reginald?" asked Lazy Leonard as he came in. He tried to speak properly to Sir Reginald since he knew how educated and distinguished he was.

"You find me quite well, Mr. Leonard. I was just about to take tea. Would you be kind enough to join me?"

Lazy Leonard said, "Yes." The truth was that Lazy Leonard was not all that fond of tea but preferred mainly flies and bugs, but he did not want to give offense to Sir Reginald. Besides Sir Reginald made such a great fuss over tea that Lazy Leonard felt it was quite an honor to have tea with him. Which, of course, it was.

And so Sir Reginald prepared the tea. He then served it in a big green teapot which almost matched the color of Lazy Leonard's skin. Along with it he served some remnants of a wheat muffin.

"I didn't know you could bake muffins," remarked Lazy Leonard.

"Well, sir, I rather think I could if I set my mind to it. But you know I'm cautious about lighting fires. In fact this muffin comes from a little girl whose acquaintance I made just this afternoon."

"Did she scream when she saw you?" asked Lazy Leonard.

Sir Reginald sighed a little and laughed. "Why, yes, the pretty girl did give out a little shout or two. But I didn't take it personally. I rather consoled myself with the muffin. She had a young boy with her."

"Did he try and catch you?" asked Lazy Leonard.

"It could be he was thinking of it, Mr. Leonard. He held a council with the young lady whose intent may indeed have been of my capture. But I took my leave before they could act out any such plot. But then again he could have been remarking to her on my poem which was quite extraordinary and summed up my feelings to a tee."

"Why do you always talk to boys and girls with poems, Sir Reginald? Is it a habit?"

"It's not really. All very spontaneous. There's something about those human creatures that brings out the poet in me. Perhaps I merely want to show off." At this Sir Reginald took a sip of tea as if he were very happy with himself.

"But how are you, Mr. Leonard?" asked Sir Reginald after a minute or so.

"Oh, the usual, Sir Reginald. The other creatures in the forest think I'm too ugly and add insult to injury by adding that I am too lazy."

"Too lazy?" asked Sir Reginald.

"Yes, in fact the other day Jeremy the Jackrabbit said that all I was good for was lying in the sun and catching flies." Lazy Leonard looked down and started to cry.

"By jove, just what do they think a lizard should do! I've seen you catch flies and I think it's very artistic. I don't see that Jeremy catching flies!"

Lazy Leonard's face brightened. "You don't think I'm lazy, Sir Reginald?"

"Of course not. Lying in the sun is good for you. It warms your blood and gives you your nice complexion. Here, have some of this excellent muffin."

Looking relieved and heaving a sigh, Lazy Leonard zipped out his long red tongue and took a crumb of muffin before Sir Reginald could offer him a plate.

Sir Reginald thought this was very funny and started laughing very hard. Lazy Leonard joined in. But in a few minutes Lazy Leonard got a sad look again.

"But surely, Sir Reginald, you must agree that I am very ugly."

"Not at all, Mr. Leonard. You are certainly every bit as handsome as Henrietta." Henrietta was Sir Reginald's housekeeper who came in on Tuesdays and Fridays to clean his house, as Sir Reginald was a bachelor.

But Sir Reginald kept a very neat house. Truth be told, he didn't need a housekeeper at all.

He had everything put away in its place until Henrietta arrived and put everything in the wrong place. Then Sir Reginald would have to spend the next day putting everything right again until he was quite exhausted. The day after housecleaning was a hard one for Sir Reginald and he was sometimes grouchy. But he kept Henrietta as his housekeeper for he felt it the proper thing to do. And, besides, he knew that she liked to feel needed.

There was another knock on Sir Reginald's door.

"My goodness, who can that be?" thought Sir Reginald. Then he remembered it was Friday.

"Don't trouble yourself, Sir Reginald, it's only Henrietta come to do the cleaning." And so came in a big fat mouse wearing a big blue bonnet and a polka-dot yellow and black dress.

Falling into the big overstuffed chair in the corner Henrietta sighed, "Oh, I just hope that this place isn't as messy as on Tuesday. My bones are still aching from that Tuesday cleaning, Sir Reginald. That was a thorough cleaning, that was," said Henrietta, glancing at the tea and muffin.

"Please help yourself to some tea and muffin, Henrietta," offered Sir Reginald. "And if you are not feeling well, you can go right home and never mind the cleaning today."

Henrietta shrieked out, "Oh, no, Sir Reginald, as tired as I am I wouldn't be able to rest an instant thinking of you here in this awful mess." Then Henrietta took up a big piece of muffin and a swig of tea.

Sir Reginald looked at Lazy Leonard.

"Mr. Leonard, it is about time for my walk. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me?"

"Sure would, Sir Reginald," answered Lazy Leonard. "Is Olivia waiting for you?" Olivia was a pig who always took Sir Reginald out for his walks. He rode on her back in a little chair-saddle. Olivia was a very smart pig, as most pigs are.

"Let us go out and find her." With that Sir Reginald and Lazy Leonard went out to find Olivia and to have their walk.

Chapter Three

Sir Reginald and Lazy Leonard found Olivia where Sir Reginald always found her. She was at the bird feeder that some nice people kept full of bird seed.

Seeing Olivia slurping up the bird seed with great enthusiasm, Sir Reginald called over to her, "I say, Olivia, the way you eat that bird seed I won't be surprised at all if you some day sprout wings and fly off."

Saying this he winked at Lazy Leonard.

"Oh, how you carry on, Sir Reginald, though you're sadly mistaken there. Though I might add that these little tender nuggets do elevate my spirits considerably. I just can't get over how crunchy and nice they are."

"Do you ever take them with milk?" asked Sir Reginald, teasing her.

Olivia grunted loudly. "Bird seed with milk! Oh, for goodness sake, Sir Reginald, sometimes I think you just have too much of an imagination!" Olivia had to give her big body a shake to express her utter wonder at his suggestion.

At this point, Sir Reginald was hoisted onto Olivia's saddle with the aid of Lazy Leonard's long, red tongue.

"How do you get up there when I'm not here?" asked Lazy Leonard.

"That, my dear Mr. Leonard, I shall leave you to puzzle over." After saying this Sir Reginald brushed off his jacket and pants. Perhaps he just remembered that Lazy Leonard's tongue was usually used for catching flies and bugs!

And so the three of them went out for a walk. Sir Reginald always referred to these outings as his "walks." No one was bold enough to question him as to how he could walk and ride in his saddle at the same time.

They went down by the river and there was Raquel Raccoon. She was sitting down on the bank of the river and next to her was a small pile of dirty dishes.

"Good afternoon, Raquel," said Sir Reginald in a cheery tone of voice.

"Oh me, oh my, it could be for some, I guess." Raquel looked mournful and Sir Reginald knew there was something bothering her.

"Is anything the matter?"

"The matter! The matter! Oh, no, how could anything be the matter when I have family of raccoons who can only make this small amount of dishes for me to wash. Why, there aren't enough dishes here to keep me busy for five minutes! I love washing dishes. But I only like to wash them when I have a whole bunch. If I started in on this measly bunch of dishes, why I'd be through in no time. And where is the satisfaction in that, Sir Reginald Mouse! How can I take any satisfaction from that?" Raquel looked at her little pile of dishes and almost seemed like she would cry.

"You do seem to have a serious problem, Raquel. The science of dish washing is not one my many specialties, but I can see at a glance that you have very profound point. You need something to rev your engine over and this just simply is not the ticket for it." He rubbed his chin. "I could ask Henrietta to bring down the dishes that Lazy Leonard and I had for tea. At least, I used a dish...."

Lazy Leonard then nudged Sir Reginald in the ribs, as if to shut him up. He didn't want Sir Reginald to tell Raquel that he hadn't even used even one dish. No, he would be too embarrassed for her to know that. And, besides, it would be cruel to tell her such a thing in her present state of mind.

Sir Reginald saw his mistake and stammered, "Oh, I mean, I used a big dish and Lazy Leonard used a small dish. But then I don't suppose what size the dishes are matters much as long as there are plenty of them. Let me go see Henrietta."

"Oh, don't bother that Henrietta! I've seen her down here often enough at the river with her few dishes. Makes quite a show of it." Raquel laughed haughtily. "As if I, Raquel Raccoon, the greatest dishwasher in the forest, could be impressed with such a small amount of dish washing! Why my self-respect would not allow me to do so few dishes. What I need is lots of dishes. Give me 100 dishes. No, 200 dishes! I want to get my elbows wet, I tell you! I want that feeling of accomplishment that comes from doing up a good pile of dishes. We professionals have a certain pride, you know."

Olivia had been listening to all this and had tried to think of something to cheer up Raquel.

Finally she said, "Raquel, you can give me a bath if you want." Olivia didn't really want a bath, but she felt sorry for Raquel.

"Oh, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! Give a pig a bath and not do any dishes! This is what my life is coming to." She blew into her red kerchief. Then she looked again at Olivia... "Well, you are a nice fat pig."

"Raquel, you needn't insult my friend. She was just trying to help!" shouted Sir Reginald, indignantly.

"Oh, I'm quite sorry, Olivia. I was thinking out loud, I'm afraid. I just meant that you constitute a nice project. You might bring me a little in the way of job satisfaction."

Sir Reginald promptly jumped off Olivia's back. Olivia took off her saddle and plunged into the river. What a big splash! Lazy Leonard was covered with water, as was Sir Reginald.

But Raquel was too busy to laugh or even see them. She jumped into the river and attacked Olivia with her scrub brush for several minutes. Olivia's head would bob up for air, but Raquel kept at it for several minutes.

Finally, she seemed to think that she had got Olivia as clean as she could and she pushed her back onto the shore.

Olivia scurried up to the bank and was all pink from the scrubbing. She tried to put on her saddle, but Raquel had already grabbed it and was busy scrubbing it, too. Raquel was getting warm and she wanted to wash Lazy Leonard, too.

"Won't you come in for a bath, Lazy Leonard," she asked.

"Oh, no, thank you," replied Lazy Leonard, who was almost to the point of running away, but Sir Reginald motioned for him to stay put.

Of course, Raquel did not even think of asking Sir Reginald if he wanted a bath as he was much too proper a mouse. One had to respect Sir Reginald.

"Well, I feel much better now," said Raquel Raccoon.

Lazy Leonard scurried away, with Sir Reginald following on top of the cleanest pig in all the world!

Chapter Four

Lazy Leonard spoke up. "Sir Reginald, you really must do something!"

Sir Reginald Mouse was sitting very properly on his floor musing over the old grandfather clock that had been his great-uncle Archibald's. It was the only piece of furniture left in his house.

"Lady Samantha Squirrel has not borrowed anything in two days, friend Leonard. It's quite possible she's forgotten about the clock." With this note of optimism, Sir Reginald sipped his tea. (It was in a paper cup.)

"For goodness sake, Sir Reginald! I'm not speaking about that wonderful clock which has never worked. Oh, forgive me, Sir Reginald, it's only that I'm at my wit's end. That Lady Samantha Squirrel has borrowed all your belongings! You! The most respected man in the forest! Why, you've been reduced to sleeping on your floor. What do you intend to do for our club meeting next Thursday?"

Sir Reginald squirmed. He loved his club meetings. It kept him in touch with his forest friends. It was such fun. Even if Henrietta Mouse, his housekeeper, made such a fuss the next day. Luckily, Henrietta had been visiting her cousin Hattie for the last two weeks.

"When Lady Samantha moved in to our forest two weeks ago," began Sir Reginald, "it was a token gesture that I offer her help. It was the least a man of my position would do, Leonard."

Leonard snorted. When lizards snort, it is quite effective. "But she never returned the things she borrowed!"

Sir Reginald looked serious and sipped his tea. "Well, that is correct, Leonard. But I tell you I have a funny feeling that she's forgotten all about it."

Leonard's big eyes got bigger. "Oh, she borrows all of your furniture, all of your books, all of your kitchenware and then forgets all about it!"

Sir Reginald interrupted, "But, Leonard, I told her I had plenty of things."

"Well, she certainly took you at your word!" exclaimed Lazy Leonard.

There was a calm silence. Then a knock on the door.

"There goes the clock," whispered Leonard.

"Oh, do hush, Leonard my boy. We do not even know it's she."

"Of course it is," said Leonard, disgustedly.

"Yoo-hoo, Mr. Mouse!"

"And she doesn't even address you properly," added Lazy Leonard, under his lizard breath.

Sir Reginald quickly got up off his floor.

"I must speak with Lady Samantha on the sleeping porch, Leonard. I don't want her to see my empty house. It might upset her."

"Upset her!" seethed Leonard. "I would rather think she'd figure job well done."

"Oh, for heaven's sakes, Leonard. Please! She's forgotten, that's all."

He raised his voice to call to her, "I'll be right there!"

Sir Reginald managed to slide out his beautiful oak door with the brass knocker without Lady Samantha being able to peek in.

"Am I interrupting anything?" asked Lady Samantha Squirrel, happily. "I've been so busy meeting my neighbors I haven't been able to come over sooner."

Lady Samantha was a tall and slender squirrel with white fur on her chin. She was well groomed as all squirrels are.

"Oh, that's quite all right" returned Sir Reginald. "Setting up house is quite a project." (He should know as he was now in the same position!)

"May I come in?" asked Lady Samantha eagerly. "I so want to see the house of the most famous member of the forest."

Sir Reginald stammered, "Well, uh, yes, um, but,"

Lady Samantha continued, "Oh, you have visitors?"

"Why, yes, Lady Samantha, I do. My sick Aunt Millie is convalescing here." Just then Lazy Leonard snuck a peek out the front window.

"My, but your aunt looks a little green around the gills, Mr. Mouse," teased Lady Samantha.

"What? Oh, yes, she is awfully sick," said Sir Reginald, recovering.

"In that case I will run along, Mr. Mouse. Oh, there was one thing. I am having a hard time getting adjusted to this new time zone. You wouldn't have a small clock or watch I could borrow?"

Sir Reginald was lost in thought. "Who in the world ever said that squirrels collect only nuts?" he thought to himself.

"As a matter of fact, Samantha, I do have an old clock. But it's rather clunky and doesn't always keep the time. More a piece of furniture, really," he added humbly.

"Oh, that would be just the thing for my library, Mr. Mouse," said Lady Samantha excitedly. "I could look at it when I'm studying at night. I have so much reading to do."

"Very well, I shall deliver it this afternoon," answered Sir Reginald, gallantly. He tipped his top hat which was made of black silk with a green ribbon.

Lady Samantha took her leave with a curtsy.

Very proper squirrel. "Must be English," thought Sir Reginald.

Reentering his empty house, Sir Reginald whistled to Lazy Leonard, "I believe I shall redecorate!"

To go Home